There are many dangerous weapons in the world today, many of which seem benign, much like Tom Riddle's diary. It was just a diary, right? Blank inside, right? Oh, and it could RESPOND to you if you wrote it in. That's cool, right? Oh wait, it's filled with dark magic that lures the "owner" in with cool new ideas and glimpses into the past, ready to destroy the owner and the world as we know it!
Well, my friends, we have a weapon just like that in our world, and that weapon is social media.
I love social media. Really, I do. I love creeping on other people's pictures and seeing what is going on in their lives. I love finding new awesome ideas and pinning them to never use them later. I love knowing what my former high school classmates are up to 18 years later. It's fun. It's an easy time waster. It's also a quick and easy way to judge others and fill yourself with insecurities all at the same time. But it LURES ME IN. Every single day. Just like that stinking diary.
Some days, I can use social media for fun, and it stays that way. I look at pictures of my friends' kids and smile at how cute they are. I read what people from my past are doing now, and I "comment" on their posts so that we stay "connected" (even though I may not have seen them in 18 years.) I pat myself on the back when someone "likes" a photo of my own adorable children. And this is where that dangerous line enters, that line that is SO EASY TO CROSS. That line between having fun and staying connected with your "friends" and judging others for their opinions or doubting my own abilities because of what they all have (or seem to have).
Unfortunately, I tend to be somewhat insecure. I doubt my parenting, and myself, EVERY DAY. Every. Day. I compare my kids to other people's kids, my house to other people's houses, my marriage to other people's marriages, and then suddenly my life, which is AMAZING, seems like an utter failure. I fall right into that trap of feeling completely and utterly incompetent. I would probably do this even without a constant 24/7 look into other people's lives, but it is made much worse by this access that I carry right in my pocket. It eats at me to look at it. I can almost feel it calling to me to just take a peek at what so-and-so's awesome family is doing today. It's almost like it's magical, like that dang diary.
Here's the thing, though, the thing that is SO hard to remember, but is 100% true. We aren't seeing real life. We're just not. We see the life people want us to see (and by people, I am including myself). We get a glimpse into the happiest or silliest moments of people. That couple whose marriage seemed absolutely perfect? They got divorced five months ago. That other couple who looks extremely glamorous and are constantly wrapped in each others arms? They got into a huge fight yesterday that they are still stewing over. That mom who's kids are always grinning and having a blast? She just had to close herself into the bathroom for 10 minutes to cool off after a temper tantrum (hers or the kids? She's not telling. Oh, and that she..is me.) Inside everyone's perfect life, is at least a tiny bit of a mess. And we are completely blinded by the allure of the perfect, and that perfect just doesn't exist. Everyone has highs and lows, everyone loses their cool (I hope), and just about everyone doubts themselves at some time or another. Nobody is perfect, nobody. Which means a perfect life is not REAL.We just can't compare our lives to what we see portrayed online. We should relish that our friends are having such awesome moments, and then go relish in our own, before the next disaster strikes in the form of a sassy attitude from our daughters, or a raging fit from our sons. Because those moments will return, and if we have been sitting and staring into the "perfect" lives of others for an hour, those "disasters" will seem much, much worse than they really are.
The bottom line is, we are ALL doing the best we can. Maybe we post the best moments because we don't want others to know where we fail. We don't want to be judged. This is probably true part of the time. But you know what else is true? Sometimes we post those "perfect" moments, because those moments are the ones we want to hang onto. Yep, life is crazy. It's messy. Sometimes it is infuriating. But then we have those moments that make us forget all that, for at least a minute. And those are the moments we capture and hold onto. Social media isn't evil on its own, but it can become evil if we let it.
It's important not to get too wrapped up in anything that lures you into the dark side. Things can be fun and easygoing, but the minute we start to judge ourselves or others, the MINUTE we start to feel insecure about our own abilities, we need to jab a basilisk fang right into that social media and go back to living our REAL lives. Or maybe we could just delete it from our phones...you decide.
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